Mama, Did You Get Laid? ~ Alana Kayfetz

Well, we did! And it was great! 

Between having a baby in our bed, suckling around the clock, being completely exhausted all of the time, feeling as un-sexy as ever and feeling like my libido ran away as soon as baby number two hit, this is as close to a miracle as one could experience.

My husband and I like sex- especially with each other. I would go as far as saying that is it a crucial part of our lives together and our marriage. It has been on hold for a variety of the reasons outlined above.

We have had a few intimate moments in the past few months, but nothing like this. This is what made this “lovemaking session” so different and important.

With Father's Day just passed, on MomsTO we have been featuring “amazing men”- those who go above and beyond dadding, and Father. up. hard!. I would say my husband falls into this category. He does the toddler care, almost exclusively for the last few months. He is my rock and my redeemer. I am not bragging- this is just the truth. Matt is a great role model for our son and did I mention, he is a retired 5-star chef- he does 99% of our family meals and prep.

So… the least I could do it make love to him. It took planning, and support, but we did it and I plan on ensuring we bring the sexy back into our weekly routine.

I kept waiting for the right moment to make it happen. Like Rhonda Katz says ” if you just wait for it to happen, it most likely never will- sex with your partner takes thoughts and planning.”

So, I am sharing my coles notes – “big girl panties” approach to planing sex- Here is what it took (in no particular order):

• Saw a pelvic physical therapist for 6 weeks
• Hired a babysitter
• Planned a day date
• Bought medical grade lubricant
• Told him my intention
• Relaxed with some wine and a hot tub
• Kissed a lot
• Took a lot of deep breaths throughout

And boom, excellent sex.

So we are not 21 years old horndogs that can do it at the drop of a dime anymore. We require some more planning and thought. I look forward to the day we can just drop our pants and get it on without thought but for now, this is just what it takes.

The truth was I was scared I was broken, and that my sex life was going to be dead in the water. This got me thinking that my marriage would end as a result of a sexless life. These two factors alone could scare you into a complete crazy-making panic. This usually signals the time to book a vacation and have “vacation sex” but I realized this is not sustainable. We need to have “vacation sex” all of the time. I am glad I am not “broken” and I fully intend to continue to carve out the time to take care of my marriage, myself and my spouse as much as possible.

XOXO

 Alana is the ultimate community builder, connector and networking maven; she loves to bridge people to one another. She is a seasoned event and marketing professional with years of experience under her belt planning complex events for startups, corporate and not for profit organizations. Alana has expertise in marketing events and creating programming content that speaks to the millennial demographic.

After having her first child, Alana looked for ways to connect with other moms and didn’t exactly find something her speed. Alana began hosting events first in her house and then around Toronto in various restaurants and cafes. Eventually, Alana started running monthly mommy day time socials and get-aways to Prince Edward County Wine Country. Before she even realized, momsTO was born – reinventing maternity and motherhood forever.

In her spare time, she raises 2 little humans in Toronto.